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Sahabiyaat

Umm Kulthoom bint 'Uqbah (RA) and the verse revealed because of her

She crossed the desert alone. Then she had to argue for her own freedom.

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The story

Umm Kulthoom slipped out of Makkah on her own — no husband, no father, no guardian at her side — and made her way toward Madinah, joining a man from a nearby tribe for the final stretch of the journey simply because he happened to be heading the same way. She was, as far as anyone could tell, the first Qurayshi woman to make that crossing entirely by herself.

Two days after she arrived, her brothers reached Madinah too, and went straight to the Prophet ﷺ demanding he honor the treaty just signed at Hudaybiyah — that anyone who came to him from Makkah be sent back. Before he could answer them, Umm Kulthoom spoke for herself. "I am a woman," she said, "and women are naturally weak. If I'm sent back, I'm afraid they'll pressure me out of my faith, and I won't be able to bear it."

He refused to send her back. And it was because of her case specifically — not a general ruling handed down in the abstract, but her exact situation — that new verses came down laying out how migrating believing women should be received and examined rather than returned. From then on, he began asking each woman who arrived the same direct questions: had she come only out of love for Allah and His Messenger, or for some other reason entirely?

Umm Kulthoom passed that examination. Centuries of Islamic rulings on marriage between believers and non-believers, and on how seriously a woman's own account of her faith should be taken, trace back to the day she refused to let her brothers speak for her and insisted on answering for herself.

From the Quran

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ إِذَا جَآءَكُمُ ٱلْمُؤْمِنَٰتُ مُهَٰجِرَٰتٍۢ فَٱمْتَحِنُوهُنَّ ۖ ٱللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِإِيمَٰنِهِنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ عَلِمْتُمُوهُنَّ مُؤْمِنَٰتٍۢ فَلَا تَرْجِعُوهُنَّ إِلَى ٱلْكُفَّارِ ۖ لَا هُنَّ حِلٌّۭ لَّهُمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحِلُّونَ لَهُنَّ ۖ وَءَاتُوهُم مَّآ أَنفَقُوا۟ ۚ وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ أَن تَنكِحُوهُنَّ إِذَآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ ۚ وَلَا تُمْسِكُوا۟ بِعِصَمِ ٱلْكَوَافِرِ وَسْـَٔلُوا۟ مَآ أَنفَقْتُمْ وَلْيَسْـَٔلُوا۟ مَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ ۚ ذَٰلِكُمْ حُكْمُ ٱللَّهِ ۖ يَحْكُمُ بَيْنَكُمْ ۚ وَٱللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَكِيمٌۭ

“O you who have believed, when the believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them. Allah is most knowing as to their faith. And if you know them to be believers, then do not return them to the disbelievers; they are not lawful [wives] for them, nor are they lawful [husbands] for them. But give the disbelievers what they have spent. And there is no blame upon you if you marry them when you have given them their due compensation. And hold not to marriage bonds with disbelieving women, but ask for what you have spent and let them ask for what they have spent. That is the judgement of Allah; He judges between you. And Allah is Knowing and Wise.”

Surah Al-Mumtahana, 60:10

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If this resonates with you

Umm Kulthoom refused to let her brothers answer for her when her ability to practice her faith was on the line. Is there a moment where you needed to speak up for yourself rather than let someone else decide for you?

Search “I need to speak up for myself about something that really matters to me instead of letting someone else decide” →
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This account draws on authenticated Islamic sources and established scholarly works. This is a retelling for reflection — not a substitute for reading primary sources.